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, by Carina Chocano

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Product details

File Size: 1947 KB

Print Length: 306 pages

Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0544648943

Publisher: Mariner Books (August 8, 2017)

Publication Date: August 8, 2017

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC

Language: English

ASIN: B01912P4NA

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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#324,187 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

This book helped me see the sexism and double-standards that women and men are shown throughout our culture. It helped me confront some of the realities that, as a man, I've often been allowed and encouraged to ignore. I now understand why "Knocked Up", a movie I liked, gave me a visceral feeling that something was "just wrong" with the portrayal of the female characters. It also explained why I sympathized with Katherine Heigl when she was attacked for speaking out about the sexism she felt when the movie was made. Chocano provides an encyclopedia of scenarios that make a guy say, "Oh yeah... That's kind of messed up, isn't it?"The book isn't the simplest of reads. At times, Chocano quotes or cites a passage as if all of her readers will know who or what she is talking about. But, I was not familiar with many of the references she was making. This may be exactly the point - that men do not see or read or notice these things - but it also makes it harder for me to follow along. Luckily, Chocano provides extensive references to source material, which may help me fill in the blanks. Chocano sometimes uses a vocabulary that is hard to follow unless you're getting your graduate degree in English, which I am not. Reading on a hard-copy, I didn't stop to look up every unknown word along the way. I think this will prevent the book from being as widely-read as the author and I would like it to be. Nonetheless, I suspect "You Play the Girl" will help me call B.S. on my buddies, my colleagues, and myself when we make flawed statements about the women in our lives and in the media. I suspect it will also help women call B.S. on a society that will otherwise continue to ask them to play the girl.

This is a fascinating critique of sexism in television and film--and why it matters in an America that is teeming with guns, gun movies, and shooting massacres; in a society that denies family benefits like affordable child care and health care. It is made all the more timely by the downfall of Harvey Weinstein and the festering mistreatment of women in Hollywood, on and off screen, just after the release of the book.

Few books have been as enlightening to me as this one. Carina Chocano carefully unpicks the ways in which women are portrayed in media and skillfully puts into words the feelings many of us have had about characters we thought were problematic, but couldn't articulate why we thought that way. I cannot recommend this book enough--it's changed my own writing as well as how I look at the world.

This is a wonderful book about the less than wonderful mixed messages that women get from pop culture. It's a story about a woman trying to raise a young daughter in a world of Playboy, The Bachelor and, of course, Frozen. It's funny, sad and always thought-provoking, especially for men who are practically taught from birth to objectify women.

If this gets lost in the back shelves of feminist anthropology, I will be angry. This is a must-read for all women, a mainstream book where a smart mom (does that make it sound more palatable? okay, good) connects the dots between everything she's seen in the movies and then highlights them in fear for her own little girl. It's smart, funny and dense with good information. Read a chapter a day, but remember your highlighter. You'll want to quote it.

157 highlights! That's how many I have. You know that point where it starts to feel ridiculous because you're highlighting EVERYTHING? I reached that point about halfway through the Kindle edition. I have also purchased hard copies to hand out to friends and a hard copy to have signed because.... full disclosure: I am a friend of the author. So you can take my recommendation with a grain of salt, but here is something only a friend of the author can tell you: reading this book IS just exactly like hanging out and talking pop culture with one of your coolest smartest friends.

I’ve never written an Amazon review before. I’m afraid to go down that rabbit hole. Still, I will risk it, because I think this is an exceptional book that needs to be read. I was never asked directly to write this. I don’t know the writer personally. But I was a huge fan of her work when she was a movie critic, no, film critic, at the Los Angeles Times. She was and is still my favorite film critic, and it made me sad when I stopped getting to read her reviews every week. No one else has filled, or perhaps can fill, the gaping hole in popular film criticism that currently exists with her departure.So, on a whim, a few months ago, I looked to see if maybe she had any books on Amazon. There was an opportunity to pre-order this book, and though it didn't seem like it would be pure film criticism, it seemed it would have some, so I took an inexpensive risk and pre-ordered. That said, I, like most men, normally would never have bought a book ostensibly on feminism.Don’t get me wrong, if someone was to ask me if I considered myself a feminist, I’d say yes. If someone was to tell me there was a feminist movie, would I want to see it, I’d say… Depends entirely if it is well written and executed. I don't care at all about a film’s subject matter or genre if it is well written. Now, something as potentially dry as a collection of essays largely around the idea of feminism… I guess again it would come down to whether I thought it would be well written. Luckily, I knew her work, so I bought it, and no surprise, I enjoyed it immensely.But, like any review by my favorite film critic, I cannot just give a glowing review that highlights only the good. So I will point out one “negative.” However, like a job applicant trying to be crafty, I will try to make this “greatest weakness” seem like an actual strength. But, unlike most job applicants, I actually believe it is. It will make you sad. At least, it sure made me sad.For me, reading Carina’s articles meant the joke was on Hollywood, and neither her nor I were complicit in creating the scenarioes nor recipients of their shame. But in this book you read how it affects her, how she is on the receiving end. Here you read how you, as part of society, intending or not, are complicit. You read how you are also receiving it to not just her, and so will the ones you love, and future loves ones (I couldn't help but worry while reading it about any future daughters I may have, especially as she speaks of her own daughter). Obviously, if you are man, then you don’t receive the “joke” of sexism as bad, but unless you lack empathy and enjoy margitalizing people directly or indirectly, it will make you sad. And, no, she doesn't give pat solutions.I think, and I doubt she’d disagree, we need more women representation. More women need to write, but also have the ability and power to distribute that vision unfettered. The aparatus, clearly, doesn't exist, certainly not on large scales. Chocano demonstrates that even the mainstream culture that is somewhat aligned to female expression or potentially feminist ideas are hampered and hobbled. I think that it really doesn’t matter what women write or express about, there just simply needs to be more, and with it more dimensionality will come.Chocano makes her point exceptionally well, there is less dimensionality in women characters, there are certain roles for women, certain character sets, that are the only ones available for female actresses to portray. Women come off as set pieces and bland one-note plot devices that way. She’s right, time and again, they don’t do anything in their depictions, things are done to them by male protagonists, who are the only fleshed out agents of change. I read this, and I realize as a writer of fiction myself, that I’ve done the same thing at times, and don’t even realize it because it seems “natural,” that's how everywhere it seems women are depicted. (Thus, writers, this book will help you be a better fiction writer.)I think, after reading this book, if all we experienced in popular culture were narratives controlled and proferred by women, men would have been the one dimensional characters. It seems the number of dimensions decrease with every degree from the depictor, if women were in more control in creating the narratives, more multi-dimensioned women would be depicted. The fact there are so few depictions than “the girl,” with her tightly contorted few options for realization, is a sad reflection on how much female control there is in cultural depiction. That seems to be Chocano’s main argument, and I can’t help but agree.There's far more to talk about with regards to this book. For example, if your gender’s depictions have been molded over time, and create your world, what are you after you try to cast them aside? Can it even be determined? It’s an obviously open-ended question.So, yes it made me sad, but I feel I have learned a lot, and I can try to apply it to my writing and interpersonal relations. Hopefully more people will read it too. Even if you have no desire in the subject, it doesn't matter, she is a writer of the highest degree, you’ll probably end up with more interest than you started. It will make you think, it will entertain you, it will make it worth it.

It grabbed me by the hand and forced me to look back into my life.... I loved it!

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